I am one of those foodies who has a non-foodie partner. And I’ve spent half our years together trying to convert him into at least half a foodie. Of course, I failed royally; my partner’s lean appearance can more than vouch for that! Initially, I was pretty bummed out to see that our food compatibility score was zilch, or maybe even negative.
But then that’s the beauty of it, and perhaps a reaffirmation of “opposites attract”. That said, here is a quick peek at some common dialogues thrown around by non-foodies while on their culinary adventures. If you are one of those foodies with a non-foodie partner, then you will surely relate to this!
“Aiyo, njangal kazhichitta erangiye”
Ah, this is one dialogue I defo don’t hear all that much now, thanks to the pandemic. But this is one of the regular dialogues my non-foodie partner utters every time we are at someone’s place. To the host who just initiated a ‘chaaya and kadi’ offer, he may seem like an angel who’d never overstay his welcome, but deep down this non-foodie is just dodging off any potential encounter with food. And sabotaging his foodie partner’s much-awaited part of the visit!
“Ithu oru yuddhakalam pole und”
Whether it’s a plate of mutton biryani or petite looking burgers, it surely is a battleground for non-foodies. Yes, apparently the struggle is real! And you know what a bigger struggle than them eating it up is? Yup, that’s right, it’s watching them eat (read nibble) with that miserable expression. The expression that we foodies reserve for critical moments such as hunting down a hidden gem restaurant only to find a board that reads “Sorry, we are closed”.
“Ini randu divasathek onnum undakenda”
Give a non-foodie a chance to cook dinner, he whips up grub that is just about sufficient for a family of two pigeons and calls it a feast. If going to bed with grumbling and mostly empty tummy isn’t going to make you cry, their official declaration that you guys are well stocked up for the next couple of days, for sure is!
“Ordering – what an ordeal!”
Hear me out – if you’re out with a group, never ask a non-foodie to order! Ask them to be in charge and choose something from the menu – that’s enough to get their stress levels through the roof. More often than not, their menus remain dormant on the table, and they order the same standard thing for everyone around the table. And this ‘standard’ dish would coincidentally be the fastest prepared dish at the restaurant.
“Ee foodinte pics okke enthina edukunne?”
If you thought non-foodies displayed the lowest levels of enthusiasm when asked to try a new dish you are wrong! Their enthusiasm levels touch rock bottom when they are asked to click a picture of a dish that’s oriented perfectly in front of them. “How about I pass the plate across and you click a pic” will be their reflex response. Dig into their Instagram grid and I’ll guarantee you that you’d be scrolling down in vain hoping to spot at least one food picture.
“Meal pit stops? No way!”
Of course, we foodies plan our trips around the restaurant pit stops that we can hop off at. But non-foodies are the diametric opposite. They are the last people who’d want to take a meal break during the journey. They are at their sanest when we pack homemade snacks or hoard a bunch of Lay’s into our backpacks and have it all by ourselves without offering them. All they need is a gulp of water every now and then to keep going.
“Kids menu undo ivide”
This is one dialogue they like to throw around like confetti! Kid meals at KFC will make them the happiest. But even then you can never spot a licked-clean-to-perfection plate with only chicken bones remaining. The aftermath of a great dinner literally never applies to them. And in case anyone asks them if they are dieting, they will throw a glowering look at the person and explain how portion control and eating just what is required for your stomach is a “way of life”. And this is a conversation which you know you gotta nip in the bud because just listening to it might make you calorie shame yourself!
“Oh, I forgot to eat”
This would be every foodie’s response to that. To which their counter-response would be “What what? Food is just fuel! And I think I have enough of that until teatime!” As foodies, we can never resonate with this! Cuz we can forget to comb our hair, but we can never ditch a meal.
The only vocabulary they would ever need for commenting on a dish! 99% of the time this is how they’d respond when you ask them how the food was at a particular restaurant. These people can never attain food nirvana no matter how amazing the dish is and they will never rant about how bland something is. And if they actually do, then you know the place is either really good or downright awful.
While nine of those are dialogues that make us roll our eyes, there’s one dialogue that we foodies absolutely love to hear from a non-foodie partner. And that is – “enik mathiyayi, baaki nee edutho”. Isn’t that what we all live for? Gosh, what would we foodies do without you non-foodies?!