Entertainment

The Malayalam Cringe Songs List – Lyrical Cringe

Have you ever heard a song and thought, “those can’t be the lyrics!”? You then do a quick Google search and realise, to your horror (and mild amusement), that you should never underestimate a lyricist. We present to you our lyrical cringefest collection – the newest addition to our Malayalam cringe songs lists.

So here goes!

Hello Hello Mister (Rajaputhran)

Director: Need a peppy Manglish song on Romance, Magic, Kundali, and musical instruments, preferably classical.
Lyricist: Done!

Kalyana Katchery (Mayajalam)

Dasettan just gives up in the end and starts singing gibberish because that made more sense than any of the actual words in the song.

Pineapple Penne (Vellinakshatram)

Nothing matched the energy level of peak 2000s Rajuvettan dancing. Paavam Karthika is seen running for her life here. Legend has it that she ran away from the set and never returned, so her character had to be killed in the movie.

Assalassalaayi (Kaiyethum Doorathu)

If the constipated ‘Hey Yo’s at the start don’t put you off, the lyrics that follow (clearly a 50 year old’s idea of youth lingo) definitely will. If nothing, we still have Fahad Faasil & Co. doing frog jumps on the spot.

Also read: 7 WOMEN IN MOLLYWOOD WHO DEFINED THE FASHION SCENE IN THE 80s-90s

Kalla Kalla Kochukalla (Youth Festival)

Me: What would have lovers talked amongst themselves in the early 2000s?
M Jayachandran: Hold your earphones

Be Happy (Sathyam)

“Be Happy” (aka Rahasyamayi ka baap) will make you laugh so hard that dopamine will be released, thereby achieving its meta purpose. *Seizure warning*

Shabby Baby (Thillana Thillana)

Kunchako Boban sings an ode to shabby Bengali girls in a fashion show powered by Pankajakasthuri. Meanwhile Suresh Gopi is at the window, wishing you all good luck.

Mazha Peyyanu (Red Chillies)

Expectation: Mazhaye Thoomazhaye
Reality:

Babuetta (Kodathi Samaksham Balan Vakeel)

When you are an attention seeker and your Babuettan is an electrician or something. Dunno. Haven’t watched the movie.
Bheeman Raghu has never looked this happy though!

Also read: 9 MALAYALAM MOVIE SONGS THAT MAKE HOUSEHOLD CHORES SEEM FUN

Unnimaya (Maniyarayile Ashokan)

Unnimaya is many things to many people. To some, she’s mildly acidic (uppilitta manga). To some, she’s basic (thengin mele thenga) and to yet another group, she’s a hydrocarbon (roattinmele taar). Some out-of-the-box thinkers even compare her to a mathi (presumably to annoy Prapti Elizabeth).

Kannum Chimmi (Lollipop)

We have a theory that the “Style” being referred to here is Style Raj from Vellithira. Hinting at a possible Raju-verse, maybe?

Pacha Mulaga (Rakshakan)

A group of intoxicated men try to make a coherent party anthem after a gibberish thudakkam. By the time the hook arrives, they just give up and go back to gibberish.
P.S. Don’t sue us if you end up singing this hook the whole day

Bagy Jeansum (Sainyam)

Director: What does the youth want?
Lyricist: Hold my freshly imported, globalised pen

Ishtamallada (Swapnakoodu)

Kamala tries to explain consent to a titillated Kunjoonju through an action song.

Also read: 8 MALAYALAM MOVIE TROPES FROM THE 90s

Bomma (Shambu)

The lead talks about his special “doll” that’s kept under bondage (naughty boy). He asks the girls in the club to give him rock, so he can make his life a rock on. By that logic, if they gave him hard, he’d make his life a …

Escottelo (Koottu)

Lyricist: I’ve made this kickass fun song about campus love while integrating the technology giants of our time into the lyrics.
Director: That’s cool! But don’t you think this song would sound outdated if these companies close down?
Lyricist: Nah! I think Escotel and BPL are here to stay.