An ad for Chavara Matrimony has been doing rounds on social media and is receiving flak for the message it conveys. If you haven’t seen the ad already, here it is.
While it seems like a typical ‘matrimony ad’, the absurdity of the message it conveys is hard to miss.
A traditional matrimony site need not be “inclusive” or “progressive”, and they have the right to freedom of speech. But we, as viewers, should be able to evaluate the message it conveys and weed out the noise. In this case, the message conveyed is the same ol’ “oru kalyanam kazhicha ellam sheriyavum”.
My thoughts about the ad and its underlying message can be broken down into the following points.
Does Sara have to get married to be “responsible”?
The ad by Chavara Matrimony talks about how Sara is not ready to take on responsibilities. The examples stated are that of her not wanting to get married and having kids. So does this mean that a person is responsible only if they get married and have kids? Sara is a successful artist according to the ad. So should she not have the right to be content without taking on the “responsibilities”?
Do people change?
Of course, they do! Most of us had views that we held on to tightly but changed over time with new experiences and/or after meeting new people. Had the ad said “Chavara Matrimoniyil.comilude Abiye parichayapedunnath vare”, it would’ve been stating this truism. But it had to say “Chavara Matrimoniyil.comilude Abiye parichayapett vivaham kazhikkunnath vare.” The addition of “vivaham” to the statement makes it seem like it is the marriage that gets Sara to change her views.
And this brings me to.
What is the goal of marriage?
I, like many “progressive new-gen” people, see companionship as the underlying goal of getting married. It is when two like-minded consenting adults decide to pursue their life goals together and support each other’s views and opinions. But the ad seems to perpetuate the idea that the end goal of a marriage is to have children and “take on responsibility”.
When should a couple have children?
Well, the circle of a Malayali’s life dictates that you have kids asap after marriage. But should that really be the case? From what I understand, a couple should have children only when they are emotionally ready for the responsibility. If a couple is not prepared to be parents and yet they have a child, it leaves emotional scars and trauma on the growing child. The child grows to become an adult who is unable to love or express their love due to the complicated relationship with their parents.
While these were my thoughts about the ad, you might have your own views. But before you root for cancellation of the ad or cancellation of criticisms against the ad, do let these questions marinate in your mind. What are your thoughts about the ad? Let us know in the comments section!