Be it to find love or to wash away loneliness, dating apps are here to stay. So instead of telling a solid “No”, why not make use of them for our benefit. Since dating apps do not have a filtering criterion, one way to be cautious is by knowing the type of people you are likely to encounter. This article will help you to decide if you want to stay away from them or proceed further.
These are usually the people we find on the roadside who make comments like “Njanum varate ninte koode?”. A majority of people in dating apps fall in this category. Most of them are there for fun, timepass or casual hook up. The boon is that it is mostly easy to identify them, they are not going to engage with you in any deep conversation. All you can expect is flirting that can range from casual to filthy.
Fake it till you make it
Of course, dating apps are notoriously well-known for their fake profiles. While some fake their identity due to insecurities, others do it to take advantage. So if you decide to swipe right on Dulquer Salmaan or Sunny Leone’s profile, be ready for major disappointment. Also, fake profiles are not always that evident, so it is advisable to do a background check on anyone you are talking to. As a first step, a casual Google search can help to establish the identity of most people. Then, of course, there are other social media apps that you can use.
These are the modern-day ‘Kallanmar’. While a robber has to break into your house to steal your money, these people break into your mind. The two ways in which such people target you are either by befriending you and gaining your trust, or by telling you sob stories and gaining your sympathy. Once the trap is laid, you will hear dialogues like “Mobile recharge cheyan oru 500 Rupees tharumo?”. The lower the money quoted, the lesser we are inclined to doubt them. So regardless of how rich or charitable you are, it is always better to exercise caution when you encounter such people.
These are the people with whom you have a good conversation and the next day, they just vanish (either profile deleted or unmatched). They shall remain a mystery forever. And for the person who got ghosted, learn to move on! Their life, their wish. Take it as a lesson, go ahead and swipe right 2-3 times more.
The Baggage Carriers
Most dating apps today follow an inclusive culture. You will find people who are struggling with a variety of issues: mental trauma, divorce, sexual abuse etc. These people are either looking for support or a way to diverge their minds. One has to be empathetic and non-judgmental while interacting with such people. If you feel that you are not capable of understanding them or dealing with their complications, it is better to inform them and leave.
This category also includes the ‘Ex’ factor people. Do the dialogues that begin with “Avan/aval (Their ex) agane ayirunu, egane ayirunu…” sound familiar? Then you just swiped right a baggage carrier.
The Thottal Vadi (He/She implied)
“Entha innale message cheyathe?” or “Njan paranjath feel aayo?” – such dialogues are commonly used by a Thottal Vadi. This category feels insecure and always needs reassurance of their position in your life. Sometimes they may even seem to be clingy and needy. While these people do not have a bad intention, too much of such behaviour can start to suffocate you.
The Cool Instagrammers
Have you ever had thoughts in the following lines – “Everything about them is cool. They travel, they party, and they have a big gang of friends. The world is just perfect for them. And their Instagram, Oh my god, it is just a class apart. Just like an influencer.”
Well, mostly these are people who use dating apps to increase followers on their Instagram or maybe even Youtube. By selling the ‘All cool’ picture, they get us to ‘Like, comment and subscribe’ them.
Three is not a crowd
These are people who have gotten bored with the old notion of having only two people in a relationship. Either they are already in a committed relationship (marriage included) or single but wants to mingle with multiple people. They could be in search of fun, friendship, infidelity, a break from a monotonous lifestyle, etc. Regardless of the reason, if all three (in some cases, maybe even greater than three) are not on the same page, then it’s kudumba kalaham time!
Sometimes the stench from this mess could beat that of a public toilet. So before you swipe right to a person with a family photo, it is always good to think thrice.
This dangerous category does not respect people’s privacy or cannot take “No” for an answer. Once you give out your name or college to them, they are going to stalk you online. Some of them may even physically stalk you. While, to an extent, it is possible to keep them away by blocking them on social media, in some cases, you might have to get legal assistance. So it is always best to give out as little information as possible till you reach a level of trust and comfort.
So if someone you met on a dating app sends you a surprise friend request on Instagram, then watch out. These people tend to fall into the Stalker category.
This is just a sample veddikkettu. We’re sure there are other types of people you must’ve encountered in your dating app experience. And we at PinkLungi invite your likes and comments on the same! Oh no, we are not in that ‘Cool Instagrammer’ category. *WINK*