Feeling insecure is absolutely normal. But, if it affects your relationship, that’s a major red flag. We list down the common things Malayali men feel insecure about but don’t tell out loud. Btw, this isn’t a generalisation, but rather an observation. So if you don’t feel insecure about these things, good for you.
When the partner is more successful
Some men do feel insecure about their partner being more successful than they are. It comes down to their ‘male ego‘. In this particular situation, jealousy rears its ugly head, and that is likely to cause more damage in the future. You might end up sabotaging the success of your partner to feed your ego. If you do feel that you are jealous of your partner’s success, you can talk to them about it. However, remember that the onus of changing this mindset falls on you, and not your partner. You should feel proud of your partner’s success because that’s what a good person would do.
The intimacy talk
If your partner has a conversation about making your intimate life better, take it in the good spirit. Your partner may have had different experiences with other people before. They might even be better than you in bed. But that shouldn’t make you feel insecure. You can always learn from each other, and understand each other’s likes and dislikes. Trying to prove your ‘manliness‘ will not work in this situation.
When they have more guy friends
When your partner has more guy friends, chances are, you will feel intimidated. You might even ask yourself – “Can guys be best friends with a girl?” Sometimes, yes. If your partner stresses the fact that she is just friends with them, trust her. There’s no other way out of this. You need to believe her because trust is the foundation of a relationship.
I feel like crying, but I can’t
Some men have the tendency to hide their emotions because they find being vulnerable as weak. This thinking has a lot to do with the patriarchal mindset that men should always be strong. The ‘men-don’t-cry’ concept is untrue. If you really love your partner and are comfortable around them, you shouldn’t be ashamed to show your emotional vulnerability.
Close friends with the ex
When you see your partner being really casual about having a good, healthy friendship with their ex, you shouldn’t feel insecure about it. Men tend to compare themselves to their partner’s ex and that’s where the problem lies. The fact that they are friends with their ex only shows their maturity. They have reached a comfortable point in their life with their ex is no longer an ex, but rather a friend/acquaintance. You seriously don’t have to feel bad. Your partner chose you (and chooses to be with you) for a reason, believe in it.
I hope this clarifies a lot of issues you might feel insecure about. It takes time to overcome these insecurities. But do take the effort as it will lead to your relationship getting healthier.