You’d surely agree that the kannada has become an inevitable part of your face if you happen to wear one. Apart from its intended optical functionality in letting you perceive the world around you, eyeglasses are a boon on those days you forget to wear your eye makeup or want to add to your style statement with zilch efforts.
But that’s not what we’re gonna talk about today. This post is a shoutout to all those people who wear spectacles but have to put up with the struggles it unfolds before them.
I hear you ask, and just what might those be? Let us start, Maggi!
Kannada Kandupidikkan Oru Kannada Venam!
As a person who has worn glasses for 18+ years, this is something I’ve said a LOT! Unless you have a bed pocket caddy above your head, you know that the struggle of finding your pair of glasses first thing in the morning is legit. While normal people wake up and reach for their phone, we, kannada wearers wake up with a quest. A quest to forage our proximity with squinted eyes, tapping surfaces with our fingers in vain to feel them. But honestly, you need a pair of glasses to find your glasses. I’m sure you probably would have lost count of the number of times you’ve called your mum or roommate to help you find them.
Sleep With Your Glasses On & Welcome A Red Sore
Ah yes, so this could be a solution to the thought we discussed above. But of course, sleeping with your kannada can leave a bump by the bridge of your nose, thanks to those nose pads that dig right into your skin. No matter how good your sleeping posture is! Interestingly, research suggests that this happens when you wear bulky frames or your bridge is too thin. What it should also suggest is that these are the only kind of ‘marks’ you can get by not burning the midnight oil and sleeping into the night 😛
Also Read: Types Of People You’ll Meet On Every Bus Ride
Veyil Kooduthal Aa, Sunglasses Vechoode?
Um, dear friend who just posed this question, I’m astonished that you haven’t yet realised that I cannot do away with my kannada. Veyil kooduthal aanel we basically have two options – sigh, whine and live with it or wear sunglasses and choose to be blind until we get indoors. Yes, there is also a third solution-oriented option of getting powered sunglasses suiting your prescription, if you’ve got some wad to splurge.
Maskum Kannadayum = Keeriyum Paambum
As if we did not have enough struggles wearing glasses, here sashays in a new one to the list. Well, thanks for nothing, pandemic! Wearing a mask sort of obstructs your breath, but who knew that breathing through the mask could obstruct your vision? Circa March 2020, we said hello to frequently foggy lenses that came into being as a result of masks sliding under our spectacles. Prior to this, the only time we experienced clouding was while having a steamy cup of chaaya or stepping out into the heat from an AC room. I’m pretty sure that masks and glasses are sworn enemies because each time I remove my mask, it knocks my glasses down too.
Kannada Itta Kutty
Mostly that’s how people refer to you. Even if you argue that you’ve got physical traits that are more noticeable than your kannada, the fact that it takes up a huge portion of your face cannot be ignored. No wonder, some of us are quite unrecognisable when we take off our glasses. Even then, the nicknames or references prefixed with kannada does not leave us for the longest time!
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Athe, Aa Nadann Varunnathu Aarann Paranj Tharamo?
Imagine you are at a wedding, and you see someone hysterically waving at you from the other side of the hall. You’ve got no clue who this person is cuz you’ve shed your glasses for the day and couldn’t be bothered with the trauma of inserting a contact lens. Before you reciprocate the friendly gesture of the unidentifiable friend across the room, you nudge the friend next to you and quiz them on who on earth is this person so excited to see you. Your friend rolls their eyes and says “Whose wedding do you think you are attending?” Erm, right. So that was the bride. Wow, when did she enter the hall?
“I’m Going To Yank Those Glasses Away!”
Thought every toddler ever! If you have a little one at home or you’re used to babysitting toddlers, I’m sure your kannada might be building up resistance to violent pulls and tugs instigated by these kids. Not sure why, but kids are fascinated by glasses. If you ask me, I’m at a stage where I’ve completely given up getting to the bottom of why my little one gets so fixated with it that every time he is close to my face he yanks my glasses and plays with them for minutes chuckling away. While it keeps him engaged, the unfortunate part is that my vision goes from 1080p to 144p quite unexpectedly for a good fifteen minutes every now and then.
A Spotless Pair Of Glasses – Etra Nalla Nadakatha Swapnam
Cleaning your kannada is an absolute pain in the ass! No matter how much time you spend trying to make your pair of glasses spotless, there will be that one niggling fleck of dust that refuses to leave (do not get me started on the smudges and scratches). When you’ve finally managed to part ways with it, there would arise that annoying moment when you wipe your kannada on your jacket’s ham and end up contributing another scratch to your lens, because you conveniently forgot that it had a zipper. Velukkaan thechath paandayi – what else do we say?
Also Read: 10 Types Of People You’ll Only Meet At Kerala Weddings
Velicham Dukham Aanu Unni
Or precisely velichathinte reflection dukham aanu unni. Quite literally in the case of your photographs! How many times have you posed away thinking you were striking a Vogue model stance only to find that an unsightly glare ruined your photograph? Probably you’ve had to then tilt your head in weird angles that would be just about right to cause you osteoarthritis to get a glare-free shot. Or maybe not so much, if you’re used to dumping these pictures into an editing tool that claims to remove glare from glasses in seconds (never tried those, though!) And in the end, you might simply take your glasses off to avoid all this hassle!
Apart from all the struggles we mentioned, one of the biggest struggles we gotta put up with is when our friends remove our kannada and then hold up three fingers and ask us “Ith ethraya?” Seriously, like what do you guys want to hear – twenty-five?
Also Read: Types Of Malayali Consolers (aka Aashwasipikalls)
So, what kannada struggles are you battling currently? Tell us in the comments!