Malayalam Movie/Serial Things I Don’t Understand

Have you watched a Malayalam movie/serial and wondered how is this even possible? If yes, you might find these mind-boggling things, well, mind-boggling.

Wind in your Hair 

I don’t know about you but if I’ve taken the time to comb and style my hair, the last thing on earth I’d appreciate is some stupid wind coming and messing it all up. And what happens if the wind blows in the opposite direction? How is getting hair in your mouth and eyes glamorous? What if you accidentally end up choking on it?

Talk to the Wall

You know how in some movies and serials, there’d be two people having a conversation and all of a sudden, one person gets up turns away to the sea or the road or the wall and continue talking? Do people actually do that? If someone got up in the middle of a conversation and walked away still talking, I’d be so confused like “Wha…Where you going? What’s over there?”

Dream Sequence 

I loved the dream sequence we had in the ’90s, where the hero and heroine would go into song and dance in a dream in some exotic location. But it’s one thing to dream about you and your man shaking a leg to perfectly choreographed steps. How do you dream up the extras in the background? Are these faces from their subconscious mind? Strangers they meet on the bus? People they went to school with? Also, how do you dream up not only your outfits but their outfits also? The colour coordination, the accessories, the works. It’s simply fascinating.

Dress Up Day

In certain movies and most serials, if a wealthy family is being portrayed, then all the members of the family get up in the morning and put on clothes that normal human beings wear to other people’s weddings or even their own weddings. And they even go to sleep at night with a face full of makeup, complete with fake eyelashes and everything. To be honest, I would love to do that someday. Get up and wear a glittery saree or a fully-worked lehenga and walk about the house and do normal mundane stuff like watch TV or feed the dog or cherakkal the thenga. 

Runny Mess

Do you know when Fafa or Mammootty cry on screen? How magnificent they look. Have you ever looked at yourself crying in the mirror? Craptacular, you’ll look.  Who looks that good while crying? There usually isn’t a lone tear travelling down your cheek. There is a lot of water exiting your eyes and nose at the same time, getting mixed up and making its way to your mouth, while your face looks like pureed thakkali. 

Villain’s Explanation

Why does the Villain always take the time to explain their motive, reasoning, mindset, life choices, etc right before “killing” the hero? And he also gives the hero ample time to sit and say his heroic dialogues. Who talks this much? Do they repeat the same thing every time they kill someone? Is time management a joke to these people? Where are the introvert villains?

Ghost Hunting

So in my house, whenever there is some random sound at night that startles my mom, my constant and recurring response is “adh vella poocha/patti/ela aarkm.” Sure, it might very well be a ghost. But do I want to confirm? Of course not. I pacify myself with my explanation and go nicely to sleep. Unlike in movies, people jusssst can’t let it be and haaaave to go and find the source appo thane. I mean why? Let the ghost do its thing and go. Verdhe why would you go shalyapedthal it and get yourself traumatized? So many ghost stories wouldn’t occur if people knew how to mind their own business. 

Pain-free Shots

If I’ve one thing I’ve learned about anatomy from any Malayalam movie/serial is that getting shot in the arm or leg is the most painless of all. If you’ve been shot in the head or exactly in your heart, then you are a goner. But arm or leg or even back shots are like stubbing your toe against the bedpost. Not the best feeling, but you get over it in a few minutes. And you can go back to fighting. Thanks for the free medical knowledge, movies.

These Malayalam movie/serial things sure don’t make any sense. If you can explain it to me, well, the comment section is all yours.

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