Let’s just say, they will be because these children are going to have the coolest parents ever! Won’t they?
By now, there have been 10000000 instances in life where we have unknowingly thought or said, “Ente kuttynod njn ingane parayilla/cheyyilla!” Before you conclude that an Ammuma has written this, please read on.
This is perhaps a raw excerpt from the lives of many and perhaps, a few pieces from your heart’s secret journal. And if you don’t want to have kids, cool. Try these on your neighbour’s kid, if they have any or your niece. What would be some of the (many, many, many) things that you would like to tell your children or let them do that was considered a ‘sin’ in your times?
Dropping a few little things here.
Your Music, Art, Thoughts, Own it, Shamelessly!
Weren’t we forced to hide our interests in music or fashion so that we didn’t come out as ‘loud’ or ‘unnatural’? “Aa bahalam onn nirthuo!” when we played our favorite hip-hop tunes or raved to Jassie Gift was not very uncommon.
Do you want to create graffitis on your wall? Do it. But remember that it’s going to be your room until you decide to run away from home.
Do you want to blast your ears (and mine) with whatever music you like? Do it. I might soundproof your room with egg crates, for your safety and needless to say, mine.
Can’t find the perfect music to soothe your broken heart and be your partner in wallowing? I have the perfect playlist, in case you need it. “Alexa play ‘themma themma themmaadikaate’” (I am not going to be the poster perfect mom/dad you see!)
Talk, talk, talk
Needless to say, our parents have taught us that they are always going to be our best friends. But have we tried sharing our first kiss experience, or the mass class bunk episode with our ‘best friends’? Of course, we knew better.
Coming down to our generation don’t we (at least, a majority of us Malayalis) think that a little effective communication with parents would have solved a lot of problems if they were open-minded enough to grasp what we have to say?
We sadly still live in an age where when the education minister says that sex education is going to be included in school syllabi, mindless people go on asking for practicals! Instead of ‘learning’ from porn, or through some random experiences from random people, wouldn’t it be a whole lot better if they came to us instead?
Space Mmm Ok
Not when you are in your second grade maybe (then all you get is a whack on your head).
Most Malayalis bred out of conventional, middle-class families, space was restricted to the distance you had between each other at the dining table. If you had the luxury of having your room, you weren’t allowed to close it. If at all you had the nerve to keep a personal diary or had a collection of your favorite superstar stashed in some corner (ugh that phase!), you know that it didn’t stay a secret for long, don’t you?
Also Read: Does “Consent” Mean Anything In Malayali Households?
While parents need to keep a tab on children, shouldn’t they be allowed to breathe and realize themselves as they grow older? Well, we didn’t want space to just do anything unlawful right? Right? Ahem right.
It’s Ok To Not ‘Go With The Flow’
Hey fellow engineer/ doctor! You don’t have to be reminded of the tsunami that swept us over when we were blinded by the brochures of Engineering and medical colleges piling up on our tables one fine day! And those children who had the guts to go do something different, you have been thrown at the face with “Appazhe parnjatha valla BTech um edkkaan” at the slightest downfall in life or business. You can always take time to figure out what you want to do in life. It’s better to take time and decide than waste a few years out of your 20s struggling to just ‘fit in’ somewhere.
Also Read: The Malayali Obsession With Entrance Exams
Forget Apprthe Veetile Chekkan/Penn. Be You. Choose You.
All those relentless times we were compared to a neighbour or to the distant cousin who flew to America with some ‘saayippinte perulla scholarship’ no matter how good we were was just UGH. The feeling that we were never enough- we know it. And God forbid, that is not something we want to take down with us in the journey of life.
Financial Independence and Money Management
If there was one thing children required the most and the one thing we weren’t taught or told about (sex education nu shesham, nammude system avatharippikkunna adutha naadakam) is financial management.
Aren’t we all lost when it comes to the various options that are now available to us for investments and savings? But we can all be proud of the fact that we have, after countless discussions and research, learnt at least a little from it all (if not, please head to nammde swantham post to get a start).
When it comes to your first job, it does not have to be a six-figure salaried top-notch job at an MNC. You don’t have to impress anybody with anything in your life for whatever reason. You want to freelance till you figure out what you want to do with life-,do it. But please do not forget to rekindle the memory of how you flaunted your pride when you purchased with your hard-earned money for the first time.
Parenting is never going to be easy. While it is easy to have it in words that “I’m going to be this, I’m going to be that”, it’s going to be a lot more than that. But there are certain things we have learnt the hard way. Things that we have fought for to be understood at home. We know the pain of being ‘just millennials. We don’t have to put the same pressure on the next generation, do we? Please do share your ‘muthukal of wisdom’ that you intend to pass on to the next generation, our children.
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