“Sneham aanu akhila sara moozhiyil”, Kumaran Asan said it first, and I’ll say it twice – Love is a language spoken universally. The way we choose to express love languages, however, differs on a mammoth scale and this is why we try translating it to understand love better.
Here, let me give you an idea of how this works,
Person A knows to express their love through touch and affection.
Person B meanwhile is repulsed by the idea of PDA.
Now to their absolute luck, both of them fall in love and discover that they speak love languages that are foreign to the other. This makes things difficult because no matter how much effort and love they put into each other, it does not translate to the other.
What Person A and B can then do instead, is understand each other’s love language better and find a middle ground. This way, they can provide kayy niraye allenki polum korach sneham towards their partner. Because let’s get real here, receiving the love we expect is as joyful as hearing “Naatil evdeya?” in a pattikaadu.
Check out: 8 Types Of Love According To The Greeks
Anyway, if you don’t want your ship sinking, here’s how you can get to know your partner and yourself better. Find which love language your partner and you respond to in this article, and try to work your way around it.
(Love Languages is a concept that was explored by Dr Gary Chapman through his book The Five Love Languages published in 1992.)
Words of Affirmation
You know they are amazing and you are dating them because they bring joy into your life. Well, they’d love to hear that from you once in a while. People who respond to this love language would love to hear affirming words more than anything else. And not the generic “I love you, nee muth aan, panjaara aan” kind, but meaningful verbal expressions. So go on, be generous with those compliments and be their biggest cheerleader.
Be present for them, because those who respond to this love language love the whole “Munthiri thoppukal’l paari nadakaam” idea. They appreciate undivided attention and indulging in activities together. So if you’re staring at your phone while they’re trying to make a conversation or don’t hold interest in the time you get to spend with them, don’t be surprised when they wield an olakka by the end of the year.
Also Read: A Love Letter To My BMI Chart
Acts of Service
Actions speak louder than words, and for them, you need to be loud if you want them to feel loved. And no, you dont have to do mala marakkyuna deeds for it. All you have to do is be a support system for them. Lend them a hand when they’re going through a tough time or when they bring back home a bag of workload that weighs them down. They tend to feel loved when they know that they have someone to count upon and would go the extra mile to support them.
You could also surprise them by making some chaaya’yum kadi’yum. Watch them melt over it and thank me later.
Remember the scene where Varsha gives special chocolates just to Aby in Niram? Athenne sambhavam. Thoughtful gifts and the simple idea that you thought of them is a particular type of love language. Not necessarily grand gestures, but something that holds meaning to them. Like even getting them their favourite shawarma order without all that pachakari or even watching their favourite movie with them. That simple.
Also Check Out: A Kalipathi’s Love Letter to a Kalippan
I personally feel touch plays a very important element in every relationship. It just differs in intensity. Some can’t take their hands off each other and remain intertwined like a DNA strand, some prefer a long hug after a long day, sometimes a reassuring pat on the back saying, “Nissaram, ninne kondeyyy pattu”. Then there are people who think of touch as a very private concept that should remain behind closed doors. Those who respond more to this love language require more of that touchy love where you shower them with occasional hugs, holding hands, and so on.
Now that you know of the five love languages, ask yourself which one do you respond the most to. Athum work out aayillenki, you can always rely on love language quizzes available on google because that is the ultimatum for every medical and relationship related problems in our lives. Once you get clarity on what you want out of your relationship, it’ll make your life so much easier. You could have one or many love languages and this knowledge can help you and your partner(s) in the long run (from running away from each other).