Coming Out of the Closet: 6 Things To Remember

June has arrived! And so has the rain and the rainbows. But the difference is that the rainbows are no longer just in the sky. We are talking about the rainbows scattered all over social media. The support to the LGBTQ community through Pride month celebrations has begun. As a part of the pride month celebrations, why not discuss the six things to remember while coming out? Let’s see what those are. 

It’s like all my life everyone’s told me, “You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe!” Well, what if I don’t want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat?


The main fear is not about coming out. It is the chain reaction of actions that follow. Homosexuality can be a nightmare for a place where discussion about sexuality is taboo. Family and friends might react or overreact to this. Prepare yourself for all that.

Remember that you can decide the pace, place, people and time. Don’t rush it. Think about the tolerance level of your audience. Try to follow the divide and rule policy. Choose supportive and considerate people among all to start with.

Nattukar enthu parayum, veetukar endu vicharikum, kudumbathin nanakedakum” might come in your way! Beware of that.

It won’t be easy. However, being yourself is the essence of your existence. And keep fighting to keep up with who you are.



Many people mistake ‘sexual orientation’ to be an oscillatory process (remember a pendulum?) Sorry to tell you that it is not so! Human sexuality isn’t some pendulum that would keep on changing. People might question you. Be ready to answer it. Make them understand that you are sure of this.

Also Read: Sex, Gender & Sexuality are Three Different Things

Many might tell you, “This is a phase”, “You need counselling”, “How long have you known?”, “How are you so sure?” and so on. Be firm in what you feel and believe. Do not expect everyone to understand this and accept it immediately. Give them time.

Oh, my eyes! my eyes! my eyes!


You may have to see sympathy, confusion, anger, disbelief and hatred in many eyes around you. Stay strong and willed. You aren’t wrong. The journey of liberation is hard.  Be open to mixed reactions. Because not everyone would see the world in VIBGYOR. To some, the world is still black and white.

You May Also Like To Read: How One Movie Changed My Perception Of Homosexuality

Get ready to see people acting weird, awkward, pitiful, supportive and many more. People are still ignorant about LGBTQ communities and their rights. Do not forget that superstitions, stereotypes, prejudices and stigma still rule our society. 

I know!


Nobody will. What you go through is your journey. You can’t expect people to understand the exact way you feel. People might pass on opinions disguised as judgments. Tell them if they have wrong assumptions seeing movies and TV characters.

Correct them if they think what they know is exactly how you might be feeling. This is new to them. Forgive, forget and keep moving ahead.

How you doin’?


You may not do great with negative reactions and offensive actions from others. But trust us, your destination will be beautiful. It is affirmative, supportive and inclusive. Try to find groups and people who have done this earlier. Connect with them and clarify more about your fears and insecurities.

Also Read: Should we Categorize Babies into ‘Boys’ and ‘Girls’ at Birth?

Never forget that you have the right to protect yourself, people to stand by, and a world to survive. In the end, you will do great.

Could you be any more courageous?


We beg your pardon. Courage isn’t defined by whether you come out or not. You won’t be a coward or someone weak if you choose to ‘live straight’ without coming out. Fear of acceptance, lack of confidence, family and peer pressure, stress can stop one. It is normal if you wish to not come out. Do not act in haste and pressure. Your mental peace should be your priority. Do what your heart says.

Also Read: In Conversation With Nikesh and Sonu About Love, Freedom, and Courage

Choose your way. Decide for yourself. Also, if in a dilemma, reach out to people who would help you. The world is huge, you will definitely get help if you seek it.

These are some of the things to remember before coming out for the changing world. People are getting to know more about LGBTQ rights and lives. The struggle would be real at times, hold on, we have miles to go! Together, we can create a colourful world.

Padma Nair
Techie in pursuit of a passion. I live on a shore with scribbles, stories, sarcasm and people who like to smile often!

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