Do you know the period of your life when you’re judged left, right and centre on every element of your appearance, character, interests, status and every other aspect you deem yours? The period that leads up to your wedding day. It’s crazy that people always expect the bride to be the epitome of perfection. And it’s just plain annoying when they indulge in bride shaming – passing opinionated comments about the bride that could quell the sparkle of her big day.
Here are 7 such bride shaming comments that need to be nipped in the bud:
Kalyanam aduthallo! Dieting thudangiyo?
Duh! I’m prepping for a wedding, not a theetamalsaram! I mean, which rule book of marriage says that a bride needs to get into a certain shape to exchange vows with her fiancé? Of course, it’s a different story if the bride herself wants to knock down a few kilos, but dear so-called well-wishers, please stop proffering such unsolicited criticism that is neither constructive nor conducive.
Vallokke kazhik, illengil kalyana divasam kaattadichal parannu pokum
If you thought that it’s only the curvy brides who are victims of body shaming, then you’re wrong! From time to time, slender brides are asked if they starve themselves and are told to stuff their faces with food and flesh up a bit because apparently men like curves rolling eyes. And yes, they also get loads of fattening recipe recommendations that come pouring into their WhatsApp. Ah, where’s the mute button?
Ithrem makeup inte aavashyam undo? Ithiri over alle
That’s fine, cuz I don’t mean to use #NoMakeUp under my wedding pictures. The “makeup overalle” comment will instantly make you regret taking that smug friend to the bridal makeup trial. You’ve just spent a fortune booking that professional makeup artist you’ve always admired and such out-of-the-blue negativity had to be rubbed on your face. The person may not be a fan of makeup, but that doesn’t mean they can judge someone for choosing to highlight their face with a solid contour.
Entha itra thamasiche kalyanam kazhikkan?
This question is nothing but downright invasive and impolite. I mean, sure people in our parent’s generation got married before they got out of their mid-20s, but times have changed. People have different priorities in their 20s now. Some focus on their education, while others strive to climb the corporate ladder. There are several others who are learning new skills or following their long-nurtured passion and trying to make a career out of it. While we have a lot of good reasons to answer this question, there doesn’t seem to be a single reason why the person asking this should be given one. So, please stop age shaming!
Ini kalyanam vare veylath onnum irangi nadakkanda
If you happen to have deep-toned skin, you may have heard this more than a few times. Cuz well, according to these self-proclaimed marriage consultants, more than being mentally and emotionally ready, you have to be physically ready for the institution of marriage. Along with this comment, fairness creams and home-remedies to achieve a ‘bridal glow’ will be tossed at you. You will also be encouraged to make multiple parlour trips for bleaching, back-to-back facials and what not!
Cooking okke nannayi padicho, namuk chekkane/ammayiamme impress cheyyande!
If Sima Aunty’s cringe fest of a match-making show is remade in Malayalam, I’m pretty sure this dialogue would feature in it. So, a soon-to-be-bride has to spend every spare minute rummaging through recipe books, watching Youtube cooking videos and locking herself in the kitchen trying to master them. Cuz such opinionated folks still believe that a way to a man’s heart is through his tummy.
Adakkavum othukkavum ayi irikkanam, athikam dance onnum kalikkan pokanda
You must have punched the person twice in your head by the time they completed this sentence. Okay, so a bride has to ooze demureness and act all coy on the day of her wedding. Shaking a leg and letting her hair loose on the stage would gobsmack not only the guy but also his entire family! So even if you hear your favourite dappankuthu song, be sure to stand frozen like a mannequin.
Bride shaming is real. And it’s so entrenched in our society that it is almost impossible to get over it. But, calling it out might just bring some change.