As the movie theatres in Kerala have opened, there are some precious moments that we will cherish more now. Mostly because we know their importance after months of being deprived of them. While some are pleasant, some others are dreadful. Either way, we can’t wait to get back into a movie theatre!
Early bird or New-Gen timing
Are you one of those people who reach the movie theatre so early that you vaayanokkal the cleaning crew or do you reach just before the first scene like A10’s sudden entry? Coming early can be entertaining enough to watch people buzz out of the theatre chattering about the movie but it also means that you’ll fall victim to those ‘excuse me’ idiots. They walk in with their phone lit up trying to find their seat with their hands full of food. And if you are one of those then you deserve a chooral adi.
Expensive bhakshanam alert
What’s a movie experience without an overpriced tub of caramel popcorn…. Only to finish your snacks before the movie starts! There are some elite classes who portion their popcorn, the first half during trailers and the rest to gobble up during the post-credit scene because they forgot to eat it while actually watching the movie. You’ll also find that ammachi who cribs about the expensive food and reaches into their bag to grab their own packet of kada.
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Annoying Appu
Enjoying movies is a subjective term. Some enjoy with an expressionless face, others laugh and some clap or whistle but the excited kid behind you who constantly kicks your chair has a special place reserved in hell. What’s worse is that the kid is mostly named Appu and the parents absolutely don’t care. The kid is so restless it cries and frolics around and all the parents do is merely call its name. Kids and cinema are not a good combo.
Phone addict
This chettan’s/chechi’s entire family and office call at the exact 2.5 hours aka the duration of the movie. They can’t leave their phone alone. Either talking on-call or typing away loudly with the keypad sounds on. Their phone does not have a silent mode, constantly pinging like he is the president of Poland (Oh sorry! Polandine petti oru aksharam mindunillia). He may also occasionally scroll through Tik-Tok or make some absurd predictions of the climax. The moment the lights come on post-movie, this person puts the phone in their pocket and slithers away.
InFluEnZaAaAaR
An influencer is never off duty. Their followers are their life. But luckily, contrary to the photo chettan, their phones are absolutely silent, quietly balancing on their knees. Their presence is only known when their flash automatically switches on while taking a photo.
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Fake trailer hypes
Do you believe in empty promises? You will once you go to the theatres. Watching the trailers and making a mental note to come to every one of those movies and not coming to the movie theatre until every one of those movies has run their course is a special talent. The hype of the trailers is often more than the movie itself. But these trailers also tend to utilise your excitement to the maximum so that you are normal by the movie starts. These trailers are also a boon if you are running late and the perfect filler to grab some snacks!
Dark romance
You know those cute romantic moments when your partner slips their hand over yours..”dark romance” of the movie theater hits different. You’ll remember them whenever the movie is mentioned or you hear a song from that movie. If you’re single, well you are bound to hate these coochie poochie couples. But on the plus side, you can smuggle in some snacks and stuff your hands into your bag and entwine your fingers with some murukku/achappam.
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Ninte kai ende rules!
Whether it’s a single screen theatre or a multiplex in a mall, the theatres are stingy when it comes to hand rests. Half the movie is spent fighting with your neighbour for the hand rest. What starts as a subtle push becomes an aggressive elbow fight. Some intellectuals have concluded that if everyone uses their left-hand rest it’ll avoid confusion. But hello? I have two hands. Some act like nephews of Einstein by marking their territory using the cup holders. Phone on the right and drink on the left. So go early and grab those hand rests!
Fireworks in background
Walking out of the theatre completely satisfied and filled with emotions while the post-credit song plays in the background is a different feel. The switching on of the theatre lights snaps you back to reality. You can feel yourself elevate into a feeling of nirvana. As the first stroke of air hits you when you exit the movie theatre, it’s nothing less than fireworks. It’s the most cherished memory for many who refuse to speak for a good half an hour lest they come back to reality.
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Selfie pulla
When you pay for the ticket it’s absolutely important to make sure your money is used to its full worth. This can be redeemed by taking a hundred photos in the bathroom. The aesthetic interiors, the lemony air freshener and the extra sparkly mirrors practically invite you to take photos. No matter how others stare at you, taking these photos are absolutely important. And if you see someone clicking photos you can have some joy of accidentally photobombing. Interior kidu means mirror selfie edukku.
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Are there any other memories that you are looking forward to? I would also like to remind you that COVID-19 is not conquered yet. Remember to take all the necessary precautions. Maintain social distancing, wear double-masks and carry a sanitiser constantly. Most importantly, don’t forget to enjoy the movie!
